I DID A SEARCH TODAY TO SEE HOW MANY OF YOU MEAGER MORTALS PAID TRIBUTE TO MY PRETTINESS. I AM PLEASED BY WHAT I FOUND, BUT LOOKING THROUGH YOUR GALLERIES, I HAVE FOUND FAR MORE PICTURES OF LEGOLAS THRANDUILION.

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!! I AM MUCH PRETTIER THAN HE. HE IS ALSO A BRUNETTE, THOUGH MANY OF YOU INSIST ON MAKING HIM BLONDE; I UNDERSTAND THE NEED TO MAKE THAT PRETTIER WHICH IS NOT PRETTY, BUT I AM ALL READY PRETTY, SO YOU SHOULD FOCUS ON ME. MY HAIR IS NATURALLY SILVER AND VERY PRETTY.

ALSO, WERE YOU UNAWARE OF THRANDUILION'S CONSORTING WITH NAUGRIM AND ROUNDEARS? THAT IS A FILTHY HABIT, AND I DO NOT FEEL IT SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TRUE THE RUMOURS ARE ABOUT HIMSELF AND THE DWARF, YOU SHOULD NOT DRAW IT, YOU SHOULD DRAW ME. SHAME ON YOU ALL.

I DO NOT APPROVE OF INTERSPECIES RELATIONSHIPS. MY COUSIN LÚTHIEN, REST HER SOUL, ENTERED INTO AN INTERSPECIES RELATIONSHIP WITH A DIRTY ROUNDEAR NAMED BERT, AND SHE WENT MORTAL AND WENT CHASING AFTER SOME SPARKLY ROCK WHICH WAS NOT HALF AS PRETTY AS ME. MY UNCLE THINGOL WAS VERY CROSS WHEN SHE AND HER DIRTY ROUNDEAR CAME BACK.

NOW WE DO NOT KNOW WHERE SHE IS OR WHAT SHE IS DOING OR WHO SHE IS WITH, AND IT IS ALL VERY TRAGIC. THAT IS THE DEVASTATING EFFECT INTERSPECIES RELATIONSHIPS HAVE ON FAMILIES THROUGH-OUT ELVENDOM.

MY GRANDDAUGHTER ALSO MARRIED A DIRTY ROUNDEAR, THOUGH AT LEAST THIS ONE WAS A KING AND HAD THE DECENCY OF SOME DISTANT ELVEN BLOOD. THAT DOES NOT MAKE HIM LESS FILTHY, THOUGH. I THINK THERE SHOULD BE A LAW.

EDIT: GALADRIEL TELLS ME THAT I SHOULD NOT USE 'NAUGRIM' OR 'ROUNDEAR' IN THIS DAY AND AGE. I AM SORRY TO ANY STUNTED ONES OR FILTHY MORTALS WHO READ THIS AND WERE OFFENDED.