!!!IMPORTANT!!!

I AM SURE YOU ALL ARE WONDERING HOW I KEEP MY LOVELY HAIR SO LUSTROUS AND PERFECT.

BECAUSE I AM A KIND SOUL, I WILL REVEAL TO YOU MY SECRETS, AND I EXPECT YOUR THANKS FOR LATER. THE PROPER WAY TO WASH YOUR HAIR! YOU NEED THE RIGHT SHAMPOO!

I MYSELF ONLY USE THE VERY FINE SHAMPOO GALADRIEL MAKES FOR ME, BECAUSE SHE WANTS MY HAIR TO LOOK VERY PRETTY SO THAT SHE ALSO LOOKS PRETTY. I THINK SHE ALWAYS LOOKS PRETTY BECAUSE OTHERWISE I WOULD NOT HAVE MARRIED HER. SHE SAYS ALSO THAT SHE MARRIED ME BECAUSE I AM PRETTY AND I TOLD HER, YES, I KNOW.

SO THAT IS WHY SHE MAKES MY SHAMPOO. FOR YOU LESSER BEINGS, I SUGGEST THE VERY FINE SHAMPOO MADE BY THE ELVES OF TAUR-NU-FUIN. I DO WARN YOU, HOWEVER, THAT YOU SHOULD NOT DRINK IT; THE TAUR-NU-FUIN ELVES, I HEAR, ARE ALCOHOLICS. I DO NOT WISH TO JUDGE, BUT I DO NOT APPROVE OF THAT.

AND YOU MUST WASH YOUR HAIR WITH UTMOST CARE IN LUKE-WARM WATER, SO AS TO NOT HURT YOUR HAIR. IT IS VERY SENSITIVE, EVEN IF YOURS IS NOT AS PRETTY AS MINE.

RINSE IT OUT, BUT DO NOT WRING YOUR HAIR OR YOU WILL BREAK IT!!!!

NEXT UP, I WILL TEACH YOU THE TINCO TO WILYA OF HAIR PRODUCT! STAY TUNED!!!

THINGS THAT ARE CUTE:

ME.
GALADRIEL.
ELVES, AND SINDAR IN PARTICULAR.
LÓTHLORIEN.
BUTTERFLIES.
CELEBRÍAN.
MY GRANDCHILDREN, EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE HALF HUMAN. NOT TO WORRY, MY PRETTY HAS SAVED THEM.
ELEBRETH. A ELEBRETH GILTHORNIEN.
HOBBITS.
HOBBITS THAT PRETEND LIKE THEY HAVE GREAT BURDENS RESTING ON THEIR SHOULDERS. I WANTED TO KEEP IT, BUT GALADRIEL SAID I COULD NOT.

THINGS THAT ARE NOT CUTE:

NAUGRIM.
ROUNDEARED MORTALS.
ORCS.
DARK LORDS.
HORSES.
NOLDOR.
GALADRIEL'S HALF-COUSINS IN PARTICULAR.
BAD HAIRDAYS.
ITCHY WOOL.
ROUND EARS.
BEARDS.
SPIDERS.
BEARDS. IT DESERVED TO BE MENTIONED TWICE, IT IS THAT NOT CUTE.
ELROND. HE IS HALF HUMAN, NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT. I JUST WOULD HAVE WANTED DIFFERENTLY FOR MY DAUGHTER. ALSO, HE IS A NOLDO.
ELF-NAUGRIM RELATIONSHIPS. I DO NOT WISH TO JUDGE, BUT I AM SUSPICIOUS OF LEGOLAS THRANDUILION'S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE DWARF. I DO NOT APPROVE OF INTERSPECIES RELATIONSHIPS.
NAUGRIM PINING FOR MY WIFE. SHE IS MUCH TOO PRETTY FOR YOU, GUMBLI.

I DID A SEARCH TODAY TO SEE HOW MANY OF YOU MEAGER MORTALS PAID TRIBUTE TO MY PRETTINESS. I AM PLEASED BY WHAT I FOUND, BUT LOOKING THROUGH YOUR GALLERIES, I HAVE FOUND FAR MORE PICTURES OF LEGOLAS THRANDUILION.

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!! I AM MUCH PRETTIER THAN HE. HE IS ALSO A BRUNETTE, THOUGH MANY OF YOU INSIST ON MAKING HIM BLONDE; I UNDERSTAND THE NEED TO MAKE THAT PRETTIER WHICH IS NOT PRETTY, BUT I AM ALL READY PRETTY, SO YOU SHOULD FOCUS ON ME. MY HAIR IS NATURALLY SILVER AND VERY PRETTY.

ALSO, WERE YOU UNAWARE OF THRANDUILION'S CONSORTING WITH NAUGRIM AND ROUNDEARS? THAT IS A FILTHY HABIT, AND I DO NOT FEEL IT SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TRUE THE RUMOURS ARE ABOUT HIMSELF AND THE DWARF, YOU SHOULD NOT DRAW IT, YOU SHOULD DRAW ME. SHAME ON YOU ALL.

I DO NOT APPROVE OF INTERSPECIES RELATIONSHIPS. MY COUSIN LÚTHIEN, REST HER SOUL, ENTERED INTO AN INTERSPECIES RELATIONSHIP WITH A DIRTY ROUNDEAR NAMED BERT, AND SHE WENT MORTAL AND WENT CHASING AFTER SOME SPARKLY ROCK WHICH WAS NOT HALF AS PRETTY AS ME. MY UNCLE THINGOL WAS VERY CROSS WHEN SHE AND HER DIRTY ROUNDEAR CAME BACK.

NOW WE DO NOT KNOW WHERE SHE IS OR WHAT SHE IS DOING OR WHO SHE IS WITH, AND IT IS ALL VERY TRAGIC. THAT IS THE DEVASTATING EFFECT INTERSPECIES RELATIONSHIPS HAVE ON FAMILIES THROUGH-OUT ELVENDOM.

MY GRANDDAUGHTER ALSO MARRIED A DIRTY ROUNDEAR, THOUGH AT LEAST THIS ONE WAS A KING AND HAD THE DECENCY OF SOME DISTANT ELVEN BLOOD. THAT DOES NOT MAKE HIM LESS FILTHY, THOUGH. I THINK THERE SHOULD BE A LAW.

EDIT: GALADRIEL TELLS ME THAT I SHOULD NOT USE 'NAUGRIM' OR 'ROUNDEAR' IN THIS DAY AND AGE. I AM SORRY TO ANY STUNTED ONES OR FILTHY MORTALS WHO READ THIS AND WERE OFFENDED.

I AM CELEBORN LORD OF LÓTHLORIEN. MY QUENYA NAME IS TELEPORNO WHICH MY WIFE SAYS FITS ME VERY WELL.

I SAID THAT OF COURSE IT DID, IT MEANT TALL SILVER TREE, WHICH FITS ME WELL BECAUSE I AM A TALL SILVERHAIRED WOODELF.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THAT WOMAN.

GALADRIEL IS MY WIFE. SHE IS THE FIERCEST ELF WOMAN EVER AND I AM THE LUCKIEST ELF EVER TO HAVE MARRIED HER. SHE MADE ME THAT ICON. IS IT NOT FAIR BEYOND COMPARE? I LOVE GALADRIEL. SHE BUYS ME SHINY THINGS AND SHE THINKS SO I DO NOT HAVE TO.

SHE SAYS I AM HER ARM CANDY BECAUSE I AM PRETTY.

I UNDERSTAND THAT THIS WEBSITE IS INFESTED WITH MORTAL MEN - NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT - AND GALADRIEL SAYS IT NEEDED A LITTLE CLASS. SO HERE I AM!